4.1. Teach the Value of Worship
Here we would focus on the family worship; but we would first define the meaning of worship in order to enhance its importance.
The Old Testament word used to speak of the worship of God, shachal (Hebrew) means literally “to bow down”; proskunau (Greek) the principal New Testament word for the worship of God, means literally “to bow down,” or “to kiss the hand toward” are behavioral or actions. They are not merely an awareness or feeling. Worship is an expression or behavior that arises from input, awareness, feeling, and decision. But worship does not exist until there is expression or behavior. Thus, we should define worship in terms of expression, “worship in my voluntary, conscious expression to God of His worth, greatness, and goodness to me”
Now we shall see some of the examples of family worship in the Bible. Since the Bible was written in the Patriarchal society the role of father or husband was mentioned many times. For example, God chose Noah to be the source of protection for his children during the flood. To Abraham, He said that through his children and the descendant, he would be the head of a special nation (Gen. 12:2). To Jacob God gave the responsibility of providing for the spiritual guidance to twelve sons. Joshua was given special ability not to lead His people to the promised land of Canaan but to give them spiritual direction through his choosing together with his whole family, “to serve the Lord” (Jos 24:15).
From the above observation of the Old Testament people we can clearly see that God gave the responsibility to father/husband and they are also actively involved in family worship. Since they started worship in their families, they were god leaders and effective father in their time. Today, they modern world is engaged and visual media. Even the children are easily fallen into the trap in modern tempting world. So the parents’ duty is to protect their children from all kinds of attraction: spiritual, mental or physical through family worship prayer. So the role of parents, especially father is really important.
According to Victor Tobing: God wants to use man to be special channel for all the matters of His family. But His fulfillment of task can be carried only when men had right relationship with God. And through God’s word man can know how he needs to behave in the presence of wife and children and guide them properly.
But today many parents, especially church leaders, are not successful and withdrawn from taking responsibility to their respective family. One pastor said to me that we the pastors had no time to teach our children, because we are to busy in our pastoral ministry. If we are not successful in our children, that is not our fault. That pastor’s word touches my heart and it is difficult to accept for me. Because, for me, the success of the pastor’s ministry will be first seen in the family, Church, society and so on.
Generally, family worship includes Bible reading and prayer of 10, 20 and 30 minutes. This traditional pattern has no deeper meaning. Let us see some of the necessary elements of conducting family worship
1. The whole family should join together.
Today, some of the family had regular worship at hoe. But parents do not care whether their children are joining or not. They are not strict and do not instruct the importance of family worship. But surely the whole family should be together in worship, and should take part. Each should contribute his/her part of the blessing that comes from united prayer and praise and hearing of the world of God.
John E. Rice, rightly says that: If there is a reason for the family eating together or be together at Christmas or thanksgiving, there is reason for the family to worship together or together regularly for family worship.
The family is unique before God. The family should fix the appropriate time for every one of them to join in the worship service. Some people had early morning; but some had in late night before sleep. But it should be the convenience of the family.
2. All Members Should Take Part
It is good that one person should read the Bible and leading in prayer. But today especially the Zou fathers lead or spent with parental authority. This is inherited form the traditional family set up. Modern psychologist lay stress on the need for a democratic set up in family for the development of the individual as person. Due to too much parental authority, children are provoke and boring even in worship time. If possible it is good to conduct/have family worship as simple as possible. Too much preparation will give bad impact to the child; because they can think the presence of God is only during family worship. They should know god’s presence is everywhere, time and so on.
It is good to change the order of service. We can change the way of reading Bible and prayer. There must be a time for sharing of their experience in a past day. Even the little baby should be taught to memorize some short verses, or should be taught a simple prayer. And as soon as s/he can read the Bible, the child should read the Scripture. S/he should learn to bow his/her head and keeping his/her hand while praying. Family worship should be used for sharing and asking questions. The child might not clearly understand what s/he learns in Sunday School or his/her subjects like science which contradict the teaching of the Bible especially creation story and so on. Parents should clearly explain and teach the uniqueness of the Bible. Anyhow, it is good to encourage critical thought and judgment and they should be made to think for themselves. But religion should not be taught in an authoritarian way.
It is good to bring our tithe and missionary offering or faith promise in Sunday family worship service. Parents should explain the practice of giving tithe and others offerings to their children and offers prayers before giving to the church. It is good to give missionary faith promise and Bible Society donation in the name of our children.
These will give positive impact to the life of the child.
3. The purpose and uniqueness of regular worship service in the family are as follows:
Family worship is not simply a kind of gathering, but it is really unique and meaningful. As we have already stated that the home is the first and most important place of worshipping God. So the family must have regular worship service for the following reasons.
4.2. Teach the Value of Prayer
The role of parents especially father was really unique in the Bible. The father represents priest in his family. As a priest he is called to intercede before God and claiming God’s protection and blessing upon them. In the Bible, this priestly role is typified in the Passover ordinance. In each family it was a tradition for the father to kill the sacrificial lamb and to sprinkle its blood over.
Parents should also teach like – Mealtime prayer, Bed-time prayer, Morning Prayer and so on. When the child is sick parents should lay his/her hand and pray before giving medicine. So that children will thing that God has cured through medicine. Parents should also pray every day for their children. So that children will be meaningful in their life.
4.3. Teaching
The home is the best place in the world to teach the Bible. The home- taught Bible is the greatest source of moral character. Home where the Bible is diligently taught to the children and where the Lord Jesus Christ becomes their own Savior and Lord will no child delinquency, because the Bible has the answer to life’s questions. We must teach the children from the Bible in order to introduce them to Christ and strengthened their relationship with Him. Sound habits, a social conscience, and moral responsibility follow the light of the word of God into the minds of children. Dr. William Lyon Phelops said, “knowledge of the Bible was worth more than a college education in value both for happiness and usefulness.” The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov. (9:10), and the Bible is the foundation of ethics, philosophy, history, humanity and religion and etc.
That’s why God put the responsibility to parents. In Deut. 6:6, it says, “And these words, which I command thee this day… thou shalt teach them diligently unto the children, and shalt talk of them when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” This is a clear picture of parents teaching the word of God to their children in the home.
Proper and timely training is the most important path of success in any one’s life with regards to any filed or area. Eph 6:4 points out Fathers are to train their children in Lord’s way. It is not optional but command. This is a consistent neglect among parents forgetting the responsibility of training the child to bring them up strong mentally, physically and spiritually. Parents must realize that the ultimate responsibility of bringing the child reacts not with the child or school but with the parents. The importance of training the children is brought out by the wisest Solomon in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It is a fundamental and foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children to be obedience to the Law of God. As long as they live, they are accountable to God to keep His way. Some parents complained that they do not have the gift of teaching and time. Since it is not a systematic role at class rooms, it needs not much ability. It is also not mandatory; parents can only decide whether or not they will obey the word. Many parents also say, “I have no time to be with my children and teach them.” They should not have taken upon them the time which is justly theirs; they rob them of the education which they should have at their hands. To those parents who make the above excuses Ellen S. White, make an appealed as below:
Then for Christ’s sake spend less time on your dress. Neglect if you are to adorn your apparel. Neglect to receive and make calls. Neglect to cook an endless variety of dishes. But, never, never neglect your children. What is the chaff to the wheat? Let nothing interpose between you and the best interests of your children … Parents also should remember that if the children do not find in their parents and in their home that which will satisfy their desire for sympathy and companionship, they will look to other sources, where both mind and character may be endangered.
Every home today desperately needs parents who understand importance of teaching the children. Because, the main responsibility of spiritual training is laid upon parents. The most powerful way to teach the young children is by parental example. If children feel that their parents are good to them, comfortable with them, and loving them by caring; naturally they want to follow the footsteps of their parents. Thus, to talk about the spiritual thing apart from setting forth a living example before them seems lie ‘hypocritic’ before the child.
Parents have much opportunities to teach children God’s word in the course of daily activities. Today due to scientific discovery, media education and other reasons, many children express their doubt concerning the creation of universe, human being and so on. So parents and Sunday School teachers should teach properly from their childhood. Children also should sees all these facts and believe through the life and practices of their parents.
John Ronaldaph clearly stated that:
If my mother did not teach the Lord’s Prayer in my childhood, I might be the one who does not believe in the existence of God.
The same statement was true and correct in the life of Moses and Timothy. They were the people who got proper training/teaching at home from their early childhood. So parents’ great responsibility is to bring up the children by placing in their minds, admonition, the counsel, the instruction and correction.
Above all parents must make sure that to train up the child not simple in the way that every other child should go but in the way in which God wants him\her to grow up. The Bible rightly plays a simple role in Christian education because it is God’s instrument for promoting spiritual growth and fellowship with him. It is also through the scripture that children are taught, reproved, corrected, made wise into salvation and made mature (2 Tim. 3;16-17)
But today it seems that the Zou parents did not gain much spiritual values in family worship or Bible reading. It was boring and meaningless for some children. Usually father\ mother read long Bible passage and give long sermon or using this time for scolding and pint point out the fault of their children. Due to all these problems those who have regular family worship service children are not much better than those who had once a week. Here we shall briefly see how the home Bible teaching should be done suggested by John R. Rice:
5.4. Instructing
The Greek word translated admonition means instruction. Paul used a beautiful illustration of parental instruction when he was talking to the Thessalonians’ Christians (1Thess. 2:11-12). Paul says, “For you know that we deal with each one of you as a father deal with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” Paul demonstrated what fathers should do with each one of his children.
Parents are to encourage their children constantly. The children’s motivation to live a righteous and holy life comes from being example and instructing them. Parents should never hesitate to warn their children of sin and its devastating dangers and effects. They are to be instructed to live for God which is the only source of healthy happiness in this evil world. The teaching of the children begins with instruction. It may be instruction in the table manners, moral values and with regard to the spiritual welfare.
Parents are to instruct their children in building good work habits. Parents should assign certain easy duty to the child at home. A four year-old child can systematically empty all the waste baskets in the house. Six and seven year old can set the table and help with the dishes. As each new job is assigned, the necessary instruction should accompany it. But today the Zou parents neglect to give certain duties to their children. They are only meant for studies. That spoils the life of the child; and we found so many lazy youngsters in the Zou society. The whole day they were roaming, playing and full of leisure. Because of too much free time in the life of the youngster, they indulge in bad practices such as drug addiction, drinking, crime and so on.
As I have said that all the children are bound to study, there is no alternative. But some children/youngsters are not talented in study. They could hardly study up to class VII or IX. Since they don’t have any other alternative livelihood, they are engaged in robbing, drinking and even joining insurgency groups. Some young girls do not know how to cook, wash clothes and other domestic work. All these are the mistake made by parents to their children. Jewish Proverb says if a father does not teach his/her child how to work; he indirectly asks him/her to be a thief. Because of all these teaching they were the people who are high in economic status. Thelma Hatfield state concerning this is really challenging for every parents. He said:
Parents you must teach and train your children so they will like to work or at least when faced with a piece of hardwork be able to get in and do it without suffering oppression. You can rear them in Christian doctrine and culture and by God’s grace they will be born again; but if you do not train them to work they will never amount to anything for God or themselves or for you. A lazy Christian never did anything for God.
From the early years itself children should be taught to manage and certain responsibility themselves. Because one day they will come to a stage where they have to manage and take responsibility themselves.
4.5. Teach the Value of Culture
As like other tribals the Zou people have rich culture and tradition. They have unity, respect of elder, sharing, love and so on. They regard their culture and customs highly and observed strictly. But today with the advent of modernity and Christianity the life style of the Zou people have changed. Their old culture and customs become meaningless and funny for the youngster.
In the olden days, young people were taught songs, legends, myths, stories, dances and the art of work and so on. Every parents especially Christian regarded these are contradiction to Christian teaching, they even not allow their children to participate in cultural dances, and other social gathering. Because they regard that the Zou culture and customs are instruments of Satan. Today many children and youth did not know their origin, culture and even forgotten their own language. English songs and others tribal languages have replaced the Zou language and culture. It is really true the Zou popular cultural dance called ‘Sagual Phei Khai” was taken by one tribe and used as their own traditional dance. Even the ‘Zou puon’ (cultural cloth/shawl) was claimed by other as their own cloth. Some of the youngsters laugh at those who speak in Zou dialect, and who sing and think them as old fashioned and old timers unit for modern society. This was really true in the town area.
The other area which badly affect of the tradition and practices was that ‘Tawm ngaina’. It simply means that self giving or sacrifice for other without hoping any reward. In the olden days the Zou people practiced caring, sharing with the poor and widow. But today it slowly vanished. Instead those who are strong and clever eat up the share of the poor people. Due to all these problems some old fellows challenge the youngster especially Christians are without love and concern for others. It seems that the olden days of the Zou society was better than this age.
Moreover, in the olden days, the Zou live under strict rules and custom. The oldest son looked after the after, and could not do anything with consulting with their parents or relatives. But today this culture and custom has been dominated by individual freedom. Today so many old parents are without proper care of the eldest son and regarded as ignorant. Some live according to their own will leaving aside their customs. They do not regard their cultures and traditions. They also claim that they are modern people and the latter are old fashioned.
Thus, M. Horam in his lamenting tone writes: One can also find the beginning of the defiance of parental authority and rejection of their advice as old fashioned, but mostly among the modern homes impatiently dismissing their parents with the withering comments ‘you don’t know anything,’ ‘you are to old fashioned.’ These young people tend to blame all family discord on the generation gap; the results are unhappiness in the families.
Hence modernization has brought a big gap between old and new cultures. So the parents should think properly and teach the good values of their own cultures to their children. Until and unless the family preserves the Zou cultures and customs the Zou society will face lots of problems in future too. Because, most of the Zou social problems are due to the decline of their cultural values. So every parents should realize their faults and try to use the good and relevant cultures and customs of the Zou people; so that they can fill up the big mistakes and gap that has been changed by modernization.
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End Notes
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Introduction | Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05
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Here we would focus on the family worship; but we would first define the meaning of worship in order to enhance its importance.
The Old Testament word used to speak of the worship of God, shachal (Hebrew) means literally “to bow down”; proskunau (Greek) the principal New Testament word for the worship of God, means literally “to bow down,” or “to kiss the hand toward” are behavioral or actions. They are not merely an awareness or feeling. Worship is an expression or behavior that arises from input, awareness, feeling, and decision. But worship does not exist until there is expression or behavior. Thus, we should define worship in terms of expression, “worship in my voluntary, conscious expression to God of His worth, greatness, and goodness to me”
Now we shall see some of the examples of family worship in the Bible. Since the Bible was written in the Patriarchal society the role of father or husband was mentioned many times. For example, God chose Noah to be the source of protection for his children during the flood. To Abraham, He said that through his children and the descendant, he would be the head of a special nation (Gen. 12:2). To Jacob God gave the responsibility of providing for the spiritual guidance to twelve sons. Joshua was given special ability not to lead His people to the promised land of Canaan but to give them spiritual direction through his choosing together with his whole family, “to serve the Lord” (Jos 24:15).
From the above observation of the Old Testament people we can clearly see that God gave the responsibility to father/husband and they are also actively involved in family worship. Since they started worship in their families, they were god leaders and effective father in their time. Today, they modern world is engaged and visual media. Even the children are easily fallen into the trap in modern tempting world. So the parents’ duty is to protect their children from all kinds of attraction: spiritual, mental or physical through family worship prayer. So the role of parents, especially father is really important.
According to Victor Tobing: God wants to use man to be special channel for all the matters of His family. But His fulfillment of task can be carried only when men had right relationship with God. And through God’s word man can know how he needs to behave in the presence of wife and children and guide them properly.
But today many parents, especially church leaders, are not successful and withdrawn from taking responsibility to their respective family. One pastor said to me that we the pastors had no time to teach our children, because we are to busy in our pastoral ministry. If we are not successful in our children, that is not our fault. That pastor’s word touches my heart and it is difficult to accept for me. Because, for me, the success of the pastor’s ministry will be first seen in the family, Church, society and so on.
Generally, family worship includes Bible reading and prayer of 10, 20 and 30 minutes. This traditional pattern has no deeper meaning. Let us see some of the necessary elements of conducting family worship
1. The whole family should join together.
Today, some of the family had regular worship at hoe. But parents do not care whether their children are joining or not. They are not strict and do not instruct the importance of family worship. But surely the whole family should be together in worship, and should take part. Each should contribute his/her part of the blessing that comes from united prayer and praise and hearing of the world of God.
John E. Rice, rightly says that: If there is a reason for the family eating together or be together at Christmas or thanksgiving, there is reason for the family to worship together or together regularly for family worship.
The family is unique before God. The family should fix the appropriate time for every one of them to join in the worship service. Some people had early morning; but some had in late night before sleep. But it should be the convenience of the family.
2. All Members Should Take Part
It is good that one person should read the Bible and leading in prayer. But today especially the Zou fathers lead or spent with parental authority. This is inherited form the traditional family set up. Modern psychologist lay stress on the need for a democratic set up in family for the development of the individual as person. Due to too much parental authority, children are provoke and boring even in worship time. If possible it is good to conduct/have family worship as simple as possible. Too much preparation will give bad impact to the child; because they can think the presence of God is only during family worship. They should know god’s presence is everywhere, time and so on.
It is good to change the order of service. We can change the way of reading Bible and prayer. There must be a time for sharing of their experience in a past day. Even the little baby should be taught to memorize some short verses, or should be taught a simple prayer. And as soon as s/he can read the Bible, the child should read the Scripture. S/he should learn to bow his/her head and keeping his/her hand while praying. Family worship should be used for sharing and asking questions. The child might not clearly understand what s/he learns in Sunday School or his/her subjects like science which contradict the teaching of the Bible especially creation story and so on. Parents should clearly explain and teach the uniqueness of the Bible. Anyhow, it is good to encourage critical thought and judgment and they should be made to think for themselves. But religion should not be taught in an authoritarian way.
It is good to bring our tithe and missionary offering or faith promise in Sunday family worship service. Parents should explain the practice of giving tithe and others offerings to their children and offers prayers before giving to the church. It is good to give missionary faith promise and Bible Society donation in the name of our children.
These will give positive impact to the life of the child.
3. The purpose and uniqueness of regular worship service in the family are as follows:
Family worship is not simply a kind of gathering, but it is really unique and meaningful. As we have already stated that the home is the first and most important place of worshipping God. So the family must have regular worship service for the following reasons.
i. Christian education has its basic in the Bible, which is the work of God. God is worthy to be praised and worshipped by human being. Thus, by having regular worship in the family, the children are reminded of the true meaning of life and fear of God in their whole of life.
ii. Family worship service will give many blessing to the family. Because reading and praying to God will give more closeness to God. In this way many children encounter Jesus Christ through their family worship service.
iii. By having regular worship times and participation will encourage the child to give experience and leadership quality in future. They could lead the singing, prayer service in the church or Sunday School, because they are already trained in their family.
4.2. Teach the Value of Prayer
The role of parents especially father was really unique in the Bible. The father represents priest in his family. As a priest he is called to intercede before God and claiming God’s protection and blessing upon them. In the Bible, this priestly role is typified in the Passover ordinance. In each family it was a tradition for the father to kill the sacrificial lamb and to sprinkle its blood over.
Parents should also teach like – Mealtime prayer, Bed-time prayer, Morning Prayer and so on. When the child is sick parents should lay his/her hand and pray before giving medicine. So that children will thing that God has cured through medicine. Parents should also pray every day for their children. So that children will be meaningful in their life.
4.3. Teaching
The home is the best place in the world to teach the Bible. The home- taught Bible is the greatest source of moral character. Home where the Bible is diligently taught to the children and where the Lord Jesus Christ becomes their own Savior and Lord will no child delinquency, because the Bible has the answer to life’s questions. We must teach the children from the Bible in order to introduce them to Christ and strengthened their relationship with Him. Sound habits, a social conscience, and moral responsibility follow the light of the word of God into the minds of children. Dr. William Lyon Phelops said, “knowledge of the Bible was worth more than a college education in value both for happiness and usefulness.” The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov. (9:10), and the Bible is the foundation of ethics, philosophy, history, humanity and religion and etc.
That’s why God put the responsibility to parents. In Deut. 6:6, it says, “And these words, which I command thee this day… thou shalt teach them diligently unto the children, and shalt talk of them when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” This is a clear picture of parents teaching the word of God to their children in the home.
Proper and timely training is the most important path of success in any one’s life with regards to any filed or area. Eph 6:4 points out Fathers are to train their children in Lord’s way. It is not optional but command. This is a consistent neglect among parents forgetting the responsibility of training the child to bring them up strong mentally, physically and spiritually. Parents must realize that the ultimate responsibility of bringing the child reacts not with the child or school but with the parents. The importance of training the children is brought out by the wisest Solomon in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It is a fundamental and foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children to be obedience to the Law of God. As long as they live, they are accountable to God to keep His way. Some parents complained that they do not have the gift of teaching and time. Since it is not a systematic role at class rooms, it needs not much ability. It is also not mandatory; parents can only decide whether or not they will obey the word. Many parents also say, “I have no time to be with my children and teach them.” They should not have taken upon them the time which is justly theirs; they rob them of the education which they should have at their hands. To those parents who make the above excuses Ellen S. White, make an appealed as below:
Then for Christ’s sake spend less time on your dress. Neglect if you are to adorn your apparel. Neglect to receive and make calls. Neglect to cook an endless variety of dishes. But, never, never neglect your children. What is the chaff to the wheat? Let nothing interpose between you and the best interests of your children … Parents also should remember that if the children do not find in their parents and in their home that which will satisfy their desire for sympathy and companionship, they will look to other sources, where both mind and character may be endangered.
Every home today desperately needs parents who understand importance of teaching the children. Because, the main responsibility of spiritual training is laid upon parents. The most powerful way to teach the young children is by parental example. If children feel that their parents are good to them, comfortable with them, and loving them by caring; naturally they want to follow the footsteps of their parents. Thus, to talk about the spiritual thing apart from setting forth a living example before them seems lie ‘hypocritic’ before the child.
Parents have much opportunities to teach children God’s word in the course of daily activities. Today due to scientific discovery, media education and other reasons, many children express their doubt concerning the creation of universe, human being and so on. So parents and Sunday School teachers should teach properly from their childhood. Children also should sees all these facts and believe through the life and practices of their parents.
John Ronaldaph clearly stated that:
If my mother did not teach the Lord’s Prayer in my childhood, I might be the one who does not believe in the existence of God.
The same statement was true and correct in the life of Moses and Timothy. They were the people who got proper training/teaching at home from their early childhood. So parents’ great responsibility is to bring up the children by placing in their minds, admonition, the counsel, the instruction and correction.
Above all parents must make sure that to train up the child not simple in the way that every other child should go but in the way in which God wants him\her to grow up. The Bible rightly plays a simple role in Christian education because it is God’s instrument for promoting spiritual growth and fellowship with him. It is also through the scripture that children are taught, reproved, corrected, made wise into salvation and made mature (2 Tim. 3;16-17)
But today it seems that the Zou parents did not gain much spiritual values in family worship or Bible reading. It was boring and meaningless for some children. Usually father\ mother read long Bible passage and give long sermon or using this time for scolding and pint point out the fault of their children. Due to all these problems those who have regular family worship service children are not much better than those who had once a week. Here we shall briefly see how the home Bible teaching should be done suggested by John R. Rice:
1). In the family worship period at least one chapter of the Bible be read. It should be consecutive, chapter by chapter, through one book of the Bible, then through another, and then all, or nearly all, of the Bible to be read so through the years.
2). To make this worship period more effective in teaching the Bible to all, the parents should prepare a head of time by looking over the scripture to be used, giving thought of doubtful questions and looking up the necessary answer if he\ she does not knot know.
3). Call special attention to especially helpful verses, explaining some of them. Do not go into bore some detail, but arouse interest and satisfy it wills honest explanations as far as possible.
4). Suggest some verse to memorize.
5). Stop and apply the scripture occasionally to daily life, to gently rebuke a failure, to warn of temptation.
6). Stop and pray over failures and faults, which are bought to mind by the scriptures read the daily reading with such prayerful attention will prove very helpful in learning the word of God, and in applying the spirit of its teaching to the heart and daily life. But too long passages of reading the Bible can be boring for child. It is also good to read some of the devotional books like –Stream in the Desert by Mrs. Cowman, or Morning and Evening By – C. H. Spurgeon or Daily Bread and so on.
5.4. Instructing
The Greek word translated admonition means instruction. Paul used a beautiful illustration of parental instruction when he was talking to the Thessalonians’ Christians (1Thess. 2:11-12). Paul says, “For you know that we deal with each one of you as a father deal with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” Paul demonstrated what fathers should do with each one of his children.
Parents are to encourage their children constantly. The children’s motivation to live a righteous and holy life comes from being example and instructing them. Parents should never hesitate to warn their children of sin and its devastating dangers and effects. They are to be instructed to live for God which is the only source of healthy happiness in this evil world. The teaching of the children begins with instruction. It may be instruction in the table manners, moral values and with regard to the spiritual welfare.
Parents are to instruct their children in building good work habits. Parents should assign certain easy duty to the child at home. A four year-old child can systematically empty all the waste baskets in the house. Six and seven year old can set the table and help with the dishes. As each new job is assigned, the necessary instruction should accompany it. But today the Zou parents neglect to give certain duties to their children. They are only meant for studies. That spoils the life of the child; and we found so many lazy youngsters in the Zou society. The whole day they were roaming, playing and full of leisure. Because of too much free time in the life of the youngster, they indulge in bad practices such as drug addiction, drinking, crime and so on.
As I have said that all the children are bound to study, there is no alternative. But some children/youngsters are not talented in study. They could hardly study up to class VII or IX. Since they don’t have any other alternative livelihood, they are engaged in robbing, drinking and even joining insurgency groups. Some young girls do not know how to cook, wash clothes and other domestic work. All these are the mistake made by parents to their children. Jewish Proverb says if a father does not teach his/her child how to work; he indirectly asks him/her to be a thief. Because of all these teaching they were the people who are high in economic status. Thelma Hatfield state concerning this is really challenging for every parents. He said:
Parents you must teach and train your children so they will like to work or at least when faced with a piece of hardwork be able to get in and do it without suffering oppression. You can rear them in Christian doctrine and culture and by God’s grace they will be born again; but if you do not train them to work they will never amount to anything for God or themselves or for you. A lazy Christian never did anything for God.
From the early years itself children should be taught to manage and certain responsibility themselves. Because one day they will come to a stage where they have to manage and take responsibility themselves.
4.5. Teach the Value of Culture
As like other tribals the Zou people have rich culture and tradition. They have unity, respect of elder, sharing, love and so on. They regard their culture and customs highly and observed strictly. But today with the advent of modernity and Christianity the life style of the Zou people have changed. Their old culture and customs become meaningless and funny for the youngster.
In the olden days, young people were taught songs, legends, myths, stories, dances and the art of work and so on. Every parents especially Christian regarded these are contradiction to Christian teaching, they even not allow their children to participate in cultural dances, and other social gathering. Because they regard that the Zou culture and customs are instruments of Satan. Today many children and youth did not know their origin, culture and even forgotten their own language. English songs and others tribal languages have replaced the Zou language and culture. It is really true the Zou popular cultural dance called ‘Sagual Phei Khai” was taken by one tribe and used as their own traditional dance. Even the ‘Zou puon’ (cultural cloth/shawl) was claimed by other as their own cloth. Some of the youngsters laugh at those who speak in Zou dialect, and who sing and think them as old fashioned and old timers unit for modern society. This was really true in the town area.
The other area which badly affect of the tradition and practices was that ‘Tawm ngaina’. It simply means that self giving or sacrifice for other without hoping any reward. In the olden days the Zou people practiced caring, sharing with the poor and widow. But today it slowly vanished. Instead those who are strong and clever eat up the share of the poor people. Due to all these problems some old fellows challenge the youngster especially Christians are without love and concern for others. It seems that the olden days of the Zou society was better than this age.
Moreover, in the olden days, the Zou live under strict rules and custom. The oldest son looked after the after, and could not do anything with consulting with their parents or relatives. But today this culture and custom has been dominated by individual freedom. Today so many old parents are without proper care of the eldest son and regarded as ignorant. Some live according to their own will leaving aside their customs. They do not regard their cultures and traditions. They also claim that they are modern people and the latter are old fashioned.
Thus, M. Horam in his lamenting tone writes: One can also find the beginning of the defiance of parental authority and rejection of their advice as old fashioned, but mostly among the modern homes impatiently dismissing their parents with the withering comments ‘you don’t know anything,’ ‘you are to old fashioned.’ These young people tend to blame all family discord on the generation gap; the results are unhappiness in the families.
Hence modernization has brought a big gap between old and new cultures. So the parents should think properly and teach the good values of their own cultures to their children. Until and unless the family preserves the Zou cultures and customs the Zou society will face lots of problems in future too. Because, most of the Zou social problems are due to the decline of their cultural values. So every parents should realize their faults and try to use the good and relevant cultures and customs of the Zou people; so that they can fill up the big mistakes and gap that has been changed by modernization.
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End Notes
Ronald W. Leigh, Quoted by Jonatsungba Amer., Biblical Principles of Christian Education Applied to Christian School in Nagaland (Jorhat: Assam Printing Works Pvt. Ltd. 1993), p.101 (Hereafter referred to as Jonatsungba Amer, Christian Education..)
Tim, Lahaye., The Spirit Controlled Family Living (New Jersey: Power Books, 1978), p. 55
Lovise Paw and Lydia., Family and Church Programs, p. 9
John R. Rice., Home (Madras: ELS, 1994), pp. 247-48
Mary Thomas., Family Life a Christian Perspective, op. cit., p. 59
Tim Lahaye., op. cit., p. 147
Dr. William Lyon Phelps., Quoted by John R. Rice., op. cit., p. 276
Samuel., Family, p.6
Ellen S. White., Happiness in Marriage (Poona: Oriental Watchman Publishing House, n.y.), p. 77
Daniel H. Smith., Quoted by Samuel, Family, op. cit., p. 97
Lalramzaua, Ralte., Kristian Chhungkua (Aizawl: Synod Publication Board, 1989), p.10
Wayne, Mack., The Marriage Relationship, p. 127
John R. Rice., op. cit., p. 82
Samuel., Family op. cit., p. 99
Gene A. Getz., op. cit. p. 92
Larry, Christenson., op. cit., p. 66
Thelma, Field. Quoted by Larry Christenson., Ibid., p. 67
M. Horam, quoted by Moarenla, op. cit., p.53.
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Introduction | Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05
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