Marriage is an institution ordained by God. It is, however, not purely Christian institution, but also made by people and of this world. It is not simply device for procreation, but a means to mutual fellowship and companionship. It is therefore the most abiding human relationship between man and woman where they are responsible fro each other’s welfare for every aspect of their lives.
Family is the basic unit and foundation of the society. It is dependent on the society. In the family, parents have responsibility to God, to each other, to children and their society.
Therefore, marriage and family in Christian understanding, from the perspective of responsible parenthood cannot be conceived apart from responsibility which we need to understand.
Parenthood is always understood in terms of responsibility. In marriage and family, the parents accept responsibility for each other as they are created complimentary and mutual beings. Through the concept of “one flesh” they have both physical and spiritual obligation to each other. St. Paul, therefore, exhorts the couples for the good of each other (I Cor 7:14; Eph 2:4). Hence, one cannot live according to one’s way. Any plan and decision affecting the family must be the combined work of both husband and wife without any selfish interest. They must responsible for each other because “both parents share equal responsibility for the family….” Therefore, it would be wrong for one to impose his/her view on the other and also for one partner to leave the decision to the other, God-given conscience for choice must be used responsibly.
The sense of parents’ responsibility to God evolves their responsibility to children. This is one of the most important duties of a couple in marriage and family. It must be noted that the very concept of responsible parenthood implies its rich joys and responsibility as parents share in the creative work of God. Thomas, therefore, affirms, “as love flowers into marriage and marriage into family, new incentives arise and wider obligations are assumed.” Marriage and family are therefore, both a privilege and responsibility.
Parents should realize their wide obligations and take account of their best ability to love, care and bring them up in the best possible way. They must try to prepare them to become responsible citizen in the society in their later life. Children have the full right to “parental care in infancy and youth and to proper equipment form society to serve God fully in it themselves.”
Besides, their physical needs, parents are also responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the children. They need religious training, instruction, teaching and discipline.
To conclude, in the light of our previous discussions, we have come to conclusion that responsible parenthood has to be closely associated with marriage and family which divinely ordained by God from the very beginning of creation. We also have seen the responsibility of parents toward their children.
In all our studies and examination of the concept, it has been clearly found that Christian marriage and family can not be understood apart from responsibility. In a family, parents are responsibility for their children for their total needs from infancy, till they become mature responsible person.
But today among the Zou parents one of the most serious problems which endanger is that parents thin that once a child admitted in the school, they have no responsibility for children except for supplying their physical needs. Parents often say we feed and clothe them and you teach them. This is a great mistake/misunderstanding on the part of parents. Children need the instruction and exemplary life of parents at home is a foundation for personality development.
Children may form the habits of prayer from the fact that parents engage in prayer at all times, in times of sickness, health, rejoicing and grief. The values and standard that child learn to make their own originate in the home. For example, honesty, hospitality, act of politeness, obedience, dignity of labor begins at home. Parents should assign certain pieces of work to every child. Children who have learned to work in the home will never suffer. It is in the home that the child first learns involvement in relationship. To be able to live a useful life in the society, the child has to learn how to maintain relationship with outside of home.
The Christians in today’s world have failed to show good Christian examples and have their zeal to serve the Lord. Many parents have neglected Christian education in their home, church, schools, and communities and so on. This is the reason why the rate of social evil is high in today’s society. In such a situation, every parents should plan their work properly, so that the child is gradually led into fuller knowledge of Christ. In this regard, the teaching and biblical truth is very important in order to help children grow in faith and in the relationship with God and fellow friends.
The other aspect in marriage and family is the responsibility of parents to society. The family is a basic unit of society upon the family. The harmony of the society depends upon responsible parents who produce useful children for their society. Parents are answerable to him in all that they do and plan for the family. Thus, we can affirm the fact that the concept of responsible parenthood means responsibility of parents to children by considering the rights of the child to love, care both physically and spiritually, psychologically and mentally to educate and to a full human existence.
If parents neglect their children by not teaching these values then the whole community and society suffers because of family is a barometer indicating not only what is going on in the world now, but what will be tomorrow and future generation. Therefore, when the home breaks, the community, society and the nation is on the skids. The contemporary social problems are due to the failure of the home. It is sad thing that many parents do not have a candid picture of home or family. They fail to create the right environment of a parent-child relationship. In many homes there is total lack of proper reasoning and guidance and instead resort to scolding and beating for a slight mischievous behavior. Moreover, with the development of culture and modern technique or modernization in every sphere of life, work, entertainment and recreation are provided outside homes and draw the attraction of many outside the realm of homes. Hence the home easily becomes a ‘feeding station by day and a dormitory by night.’ It is also a mistake to think and depend mainly upon school, church or Sunday School as the only place for the children to learn Christian virtues and concepts. But these are only secondary training centers. The home stands in the first place with parents as teachers.
Thus, the home is the first institution because every human being comes out from a home. The home is where God is the head and where the parents teach and guide the members according to God’s will and have faith in God and trust each others in the home which God wants. But in a home where the parents depend upon their riches and knowledge, their children will become depressed, frustrated, such home atmosphere becomes heavy, uncared, and neglected. This situation will result a situation where the Christian children become preys of drugs and immoral activities. Thus, the Christian home should be a home standing firm on the rock and not on the sand.
---------------------------------------------
End Notes
--------------------------------------------------
BIBLIOGRAPHY
---------------------------------------------
Introduction | Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05
---------------------------------------------
Family is the basic unit and foundation of the society. It is dependent on the society. In the family, parents have responsibility to God, to each other, to children and their society.
Therefore, marriage and family in Christian understanding, from the perspective of responsible parenthood cannot be conceived apart from responsibility which we need to understand.
Parenthood is always understood in terms of responsibility. In marriage and family, the parents accept responsibility for each other as they are created complimentary and mutual beings. Through the concept of “one flesh” they have both physical and spiritual obligation to each other. St. Paul, therefore, exhorts the couples for the good of each other (I Cor 7:14; Eph 2:4). Hence, one cannot live according to one’s way. Any plan and decision affecting the family must be the combined work of both husband and wife without any selfish interest. They must responsible for each other because “both parents share equal responsibility for the family….” Therefore, it would be wrong for one to impose his/her view on the other and also for one partner to leave the decision to the other, God-given conscience for choice must be used responsibly.
The sense of parents’ responsibility to God evolves their responsibility to children. This is one of the most important duties of a couple in marriage and family. It must be noted that the very concept of responsible parenthood implies its rich joys and responsibility as parents share in the creative work of God. Thomas, therefore, affirms, “as love flowers into marriage and marriage into family, new incentives arise and wider obligations are assumed.” Marriage and family are therefore, both a privilege and responsibility.
Parents should realize their wide obligations and take account of their best ability to love, care and bring them up in the best possible way. They must try to prepare them to become responsible citizen in the society in their later life. Children have the full right to “parental care in infancy and youth and to proper equipment form society to serve God fully in it themselves.”
Besides, their physical needs, parents are also responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the children. They need religious training, instruction, teaching and discipline.
To conclude, in the light of our previous discussions, we have come to conclusion that responsible parenthood has to be closely associated with marriage and family which divinely ordained by God from the very beginning of creation. We also have seen the responsibility of parents toward their children.
In all our studies and examination of the concept, it has been clearly found that Christian marriage and family can not be understood apart from responsibility. In a family, parents are responsibility for their children for their total needs from infancy, till they become mature responsible person.
But today among the Zou parents one of the most serious problems which endanger is that parents thin that once a child admitted in the school, they have no responsibility for children except for supplying their physical needs. Parents often say we feed and clothe them and you teach them. This is a great mistake/misunderstanding on the part of parents. Children need the instruction and exemplary life of parents at home is a foundation for personality development.
Children may form the habits of prayer from the fact that parents engage in prayer at all times, in times of sickness, health, rejoicing and grief. The values and standard that child learn to make their own originate in the home. For example, honesty, hospitality, act of politeness, obedience, dignity of labor begins at home. Parents should assign certain pieces of work to every child. Children who have learned to work in the home will never suffer. It is in the home that the child first learns involvement in relationship. To be able to live a useful life in the society, the child has to learn how to maintain relationship with outside of home.
The Christians in today’s world have failed to show good Christian examples and have their zeal to serve the Lord. Many parents have neglected Christian education in their home, church, schools, and communities and so on. This is the reason why the rate of social evil is high in today’s society. In such a situation, every parents should plan their work properly, so that the child is gradually led into fuller knowledge of Christ. In this regard, the teaching and biblical truth is very important in order to help children grow in faith and in the relationship with God and fellow friends.
The other aspect in marriage and family is the responsibility of parents to society. The family is a basic unit of society upon the family. The harmony of the society depends upon responsible parents who produce useful children for their society. Parents are answerable to him in all that they do and plan for the family. Thus, we can affirm the fact that the concept of responsible parenthood means responsibility of parents to children by considering the rights of the child to love, care both physically and spiritually, psychologically and mentally to educate and to a full human existence.
If parents neglect their children by not teaching these values then the whole community and society suffers because of family is a barometer indicating not only what is going on in the world now, but what will be tomorrow and future generation. Therefore, when the home breaks, the community, society and the nation is on the skids. The contemporary social problems are due to the failure of the home. It is sad thing that many parents do not have a candid picture of home or family. They fail to create the right environment of a parent-child relationship. In many homes there is total lack of proper reasoning and guidance and instead resort to scolding and beating for a slight mischievous behavior. Moreover, with the development of culture and modern technique or modernization in every sphere of life, work, entertainment and recreation are provided outside homes and draw the attraction of many outside the realm of homes. Hence the home easily becomes a ‘feeding station by day and a dormitory by night.’ It is also a mistake to think and depend mainly upon school, church or Sunday School as the only place for the children to learn Christian virtues and concepts. But these are only secondary training centers. The home stands in the first place with parents as teachers.
Thus, the home is the first institution because every human being comes out from a home. The home is where God is the head and where the parents teach and guide the members according to God’s will and have faith in God and trust each others in the home which God wants. But in a home where the parents depend upon their riches and knowledge, their children will become depressed, frustrated, such home atmosphere becomes heavy, uncared, and neglected. This situation will result a situation where the Christian children become preys of drugs and immoral activities. Thus, the Christian home should be a home standing firm on the rock and not on the sand.
---------------------------------------------
End Notes
Ellen G. White., Happiness Homemade (Nashville: Southern Publishing Association, 1971), p. 27
A.M.J. Kloosterman., Family Planning and Christian Marriage (London: Wm Collin & Sons Co. Ltd., 1970)
John, A. Saliqu M., Family in the Purpose of God., op. cit. , p. 13
Fagly, Richard M., The Population Explosion and Christian Responsibility (New Your: Oxford University Press, 1960), p.231.
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
Adam, Jay E. Solving Marriage Problems. Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1983.
Amer, Jonatsungba. Biblical Principles of Christian Education Applied to Christian School in Nagaland. Jorhat: Assam Printing Works, Pvt. Ltd., 1993.
Arnold, Eberhard. Love and Marriage in the Spirit. New York: The Plough Publishing House, 1984.
Barnette, Henlu H. Introduction to Christian Ethics. Nashville: Broadman Press, n. y.
Bhushan Vidya. An Introduction to Sociology. Allahabad: Kitab Mahal, 1984.
Christenson, Larry. The Christian Family. Minneapolis: Bethany Fellowship, 1970
Getz, Gene A. The Measure of Family. California: G/L Publishers, 1967.
Goldman, Ronald. Readiness for Religious Education. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul, n. y.
Hoefer, Herbert E. Teachers as Parent. Madras: CLS, 1976.
Klosterman, A.M.J. Family Planning and Christian Marriage. London: Wm. Collins Sons Co. Ltd. 1970.
Lahaye, Tim. The Spirit Controlled Family Living. New Jersey: Power Books, 1978.
Lianngengi, P. Lalpa Hmangaih Kristian Chhungkua (Godly Christian Family). Aizawl: Rev. & Mrs. Siamliana, 1990.
Lydia and Lovise Paw (Eds.). Family Concerns and Church Programs (South East Asian Christian Family Series, 1982). Philippines: Baptist Council on World Mission, 1992.
Paulus, Vimala. Introducing Christian Education. Bombay: CLS, 1993.
Rai, B.C. Educational Psychology. Lucknow: Prakashan Kendra, 1992.
Ralte, Lalramzaua. Kristian Chhungkua (Christian Family). Aizawl: Synod Publication Board, 1989.
Rice, John R. Home. Madras: ELS, 1994.
Richard Fagley, M., The Population Explosion and Christian Responsibility. New York: Oxford University Press, 1960.
Sadeq, John W., Family in the Purpose of God: A Miscellany of Essays Relating to Planned Parenthood in India Settings. Nagpur: The National Christian Council and Christian Medical Association of India, n.y.
Satya, R.N. & Bhatai Bd. Educational Psychology and Guidance. Delhi: Phanpati & Sons,n.y.
Scudder, C. W., The Family in Christian Perspective. Nashville: Broadman Press, 1972.
Stott, John. Issues Facing Christianity Today. Bombay: CLS, 1984.
Thomas, Mary. Family Life: A Christian Perspective. Madras: CLS, 1982
White, Ellen G., Happiness Homemade. Nashville: Southern Publishing Association, 1974.
_____________ . Happiness in Marriage. Poona: Oriental Watchman Publishing House, n. y.
UNPUBLISHED SOURCES
Aye, David. “Psychological Approach to the Youth Problems in Reference to Sumi Youths in Nagaland.” Unpublished B.D. Thesis Submitted to Eastern Theological College, 1996.
Down, Mary Evans. “Creative Foundation Starting a Nursery School” (Unpublished MSS).
Imchen, Tali R. “The Role of Christian Education in Developing Child Personality.” Unpublished B.D. Thesis submitted to Eastern Theological College, 1996.
Lotha, Remphamo E.N. “Christian Attitude Towards the Concept of Responsible Parenthood: An Ethical Evaluation.” Unpublished B.D. Thesis in United Theological College, 1978.
Moarenla, N. “The Disintegration Traditional Ao Family Patterns and Its Impact on Modern Christian Family.” Unpublished B.D. Thesis, Eastern Theological College, 1996.
Samuel, Vinoji. “The New Testament Concept of Family.”Unpublished M.Th Thesis Submitted to Asian Christian Academy, India Evangelical Theological Seminary, Hosur, 1994.
The Asian Churches and Responsible Parenthood. Bangkok: EACC Consultation, 1964.
The Christian Home. Shillong: WESI –NE, Triennial Conference on 6th – 10th January, 1993.
Magazines/Journals/ Newspapers/Periodicals/Pamphlets
Decision. Vol. No. XI “Help for Your Family.” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, June, 1994.
New Woman. Vol. 19, No. 6, “Parenting Guidance for Child Rearing.” Shillong, Spring June, 1996.
The Eastern Clarion, Jorhat, March, 27, 1996.
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Introduction | Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05
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